Buckets From Heaven

Please heal this pain
And take it all away.
I don't want to feel this hurt
For yet another day.

I hear the voices screaming at me
From deep inside my pain.
I try to ignore them
In an effort to stay sane.

Every time I close my eyes
And try to meditate,
I feel darkness surrounding me.
Am I filled with this much hate?

It's easier to ignore the pain
And pretend that's it's not here,
Than to listen every night
To the voices in my ears.

But when I'm finally strong enough
To face all of my fears,
Buckets will be sent from Heaven
To be filled with all my tears.


It's Time to Meet My Pain

I need to address my pain
But I don't know its name.
And how can I talk to something
That's driving me insane?

If it wants to know me
It can introduce itself,
For I'm doing fine not knowing,
And I don't need its help.

I would like for it to be
A stranger in my life,
Someone I never meet,
Who never causes strife.

If only my pain would feel
The same way that I do,
We could be on friendly terms.
The words we speak would be few.

But, oh no!
My pain rears its ugly head
At the most inopportune times.
And this is what I dread.

It never seems to understand
That I need my space.
For every time I have a rest
It's always in my face.

I guess that I have ignored it
More than long enough.
So now it's time to meet the pain
That makes my life so tough.


A Heart That Needs Healing

My mind has a question--
Words that must be spoken.
But my heart refuses to answer
Because it has been broken.

Will I ever love again?
Just answer yes or no.
It really doesn't matter which,
I just need to know.

I've lived in this state of limbo
For over ten years now.
I'd like to love again
But I really don't know how.

I think I would need lessons
Specifically on how to heal
A heart that needs mending.
I would need to make a deal.

For there are parts of me resisting
It's like an inner fight,
And until we're in agreement
Love is not within my sight.


The Words I Can Not Say

My jaws are clenched so tightly
Holding back words I dare not say.
The effort that I'm exerting
Literally takes my breath away.

I want to say "I love you"
But I fear you'd run away.
So I refrain from saying anything,
In hopes that you will stay.

I stuff the pain inside me
And the words I struggle to keep.
But I don't understand the consequences
Of a pain that runs so deep.

The unspoken words turn to anger,
And I recognize some fear,
As these issues stay unresolved
I can sense depression near.

It hovers around my head,
And my heart has turned to stone,
As I refuse to say the words,
I'll now live my life alone.


    Anger

Anger is an emotion
We don't always understand.
There is a fear of seeing it,
For it may get out of hand.

But anger can be a friend,
A positive emotion.
When channeled with care, it can bring
A needed change in motion.

Rather, it is rage
That perhaps we need to fear.
It is formed when anger
Doesn't flow through free and clear.

For when emotions are suppressed
And not allowed to form,
They seethe inside your very soul
And you begin to mourn.

So find a way to give your anger voice,
It need not be loud or strong.
For anger can spark a change
That has been needed all along.


--ST

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