You're a Typical Parent If..., humorous, funny, traits

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You're A Typical Parent If...

A funny look at parenting!

Silence is no longer “golden”—it’s downright threatening. (If you can’t hear your kids they’re probably up to something.).

You find yourself saying, “Because I said so!”, just like your mother did, even though you swore you never would.

You think you need to lose weight so the seesaw will be in better balance.

You no longer buy earrings that will catch your mate’s attention because they will also catch your baby’s attention.

You look forward to the beginning of the fall primetime lineup—finally a new episode of Rugrats!

The old saying, “biting the hand that feed you” takes on new meaning.

You n o longer need an alarm clock. You aren’t going to be getting any sleep anyway.

You find yourself quietly singing the theme song of the television show, Barney, while preparing dinner.

The nutritional content of cereal isn’t nearly as important as the toy inside.

You learned to speak Spanish by watching Sesame Street.

You buy the Sunday newspaper for the Toys ‘R’ Us supplement.

Christmas is no longer “the season to be jolly”—it’s “the season to spend in folly.”

After spending hundreds of dollars for Christmas presents, your child plays with the boxes instead.

Shopping used to be “an afternoon’s delight.” Now it’s an “afternoon of fright.”

You understand the true meaning of the phrase “The buck stops here.” It never stays around long enough for you to take it anywhere else.

After taking off work and scheduling a doctor’s appointment, your child shows no sign of illness. The doctor questions your sanity. (So do you.)

If you suddenly find yourself alone with your mate, you don’t try to “steal a kiss”—just finishing the laundry has a certain “zing” to it.

You can’t remember the last time you got to pick the movie.

The term sibling rivalry doesn’t adequately describe the war zone in your home.

You begin to wonder just what Snow White saw in those seven dwarfs anyway.

Year-round school is beginning to sound like a good idea!

You try to hold back the tears the first time your child tries to shake your hand (instead of giving you a hug).

You consider the invention of headphones to be the single most important event of the 20th Century.

While giving your teenager driving lessons, little grip marks mysteriously appear on your dashboard.

You are actually depressed over losing 100 pound (as it packs to leave for college).

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